RESPONSIBILITY: WHENEVER SOMETHING YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH GOES WRONG, CHOOSE TO BLAME NO ONE.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you.”—Wayne Dyer

Blame is said to be inappropriate no matter how justified we may feel. 

And now, the American self-help author and motivational speaker, Wayne Dyer is also confirming the futility of blame-game with the assertion that, “All blame is a waste of time.”

Let’s think a little to verify the truth in that statement now. 

If we spend 10 minutes to argue and blame one another over an error, what will we truly achieve, if no one decides to take responsibility?

You guessed it, resentment! Each party will feel stronger in his/her justification while strongly resenting the blaming by another.

So by blaming others, we fail to find the real solutions to the problem and subsequently unable to carry out our own responsibilities. To save ourselves from such consequences, it will be wise to remember the words of Lous Nizer, when he said, “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”

The point here is that, whatever the other people’s failings might be, we should choose to shoulder the responsibility; and once we do it readily, we are in a position to make the most of the situation. Because we have placed ourselves in the driver’s seat; we are now in control. Consider the example of Robert Lee…

EXAMPLE OF ROBERT LEE

Robert Edward Lee was an American General known for commanding the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia in the American Civil War from 1862 until his surrender in 1865. One of his battles—Pickett's Charge— was a colossal failure, and Lee took full responsibility for the defeat. 

Choosing to ignore all the lapses of some of his generals which evidently led to their failure, he wrote the Confederate President Jefferson Davis— only— to tender his resignation. As the captain of the ship, he chose to solely go down for his entire team.

Lee understood the meaning of leadership; that, it is never about making excuses, but it is about accepting complete responsibility, for all outcomes, whether positive or negative. Remarkable leaders are willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and failings of their followers.

ACCEPT 100 PERCENT RESPONSIBLITY

Like General Lee, successful people accept full responsibility for what they say, what they do and how they respond to what was done to them.  Hence they are able to stay in control of their lives at all times, especially the bad times.

Until we appreciate the value of being in control, we will always blame someone or something else for whatever goes wrong in our lives.  And unless we adopt the attitude of leadership, it will be very difficult to learn and grow from our experiences.

Accepting 100 percent responsibility for everything is the best way to move ahead in life. To not accept full responsibility is to only criticize others, and to make excuses; none of which really makes us better in the end.

To grow, we must choose to respond positively in all situations and circumstances we experience in life; whether joyful or sad, whether good or bad, whether beneficial or harmful. 

Not easy for sure, but that is what it takes reach our full potential.

HOW TO BLAME NO ONE

In a moment of reflection on the words of John Maxwell that, “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes." I drafted the following list to guide me in this character building practice of always holding myself responsible and blaming no one , even when it is easier not to. 

By sharing it here, I hope someone may take it further in practice. 

No Blame Guide

Blame no one for selfishly protecting themselves.

Blame no one for trying to outmatch you.

Blame no one for their self-preservation tendencies—it’s human.

Blame no one for defrauding you.

Blame no one for seeking to undermine you.

Blame no one for being different.

Blame no one for being human—being weak.

But….

….hold yourself responsible for….

…keeping your guard and for letting it down.

Obviously, one can sometimes find oneself in an unpleasant situation as a result of what another person did or did not do in relation to one. But it will become really unpleasant, the moment one surrenders control. The issue now will not only be the loss but also an unbridled fret.

That’s why it is smart to assume control by choosing the attitude of …..

Whatever happens, I hold the emotional power.  I am responsible for what I did, didn’t do, and how I respond to what was done to me. 

So from now on, say, whatever happens, it is my fault!

And yes, it is. Even when it is apparently not. This is the sublime attitude of all greats. If you disagree, listen to Richard Bach, the author of many best-selling books, including

Illusions, on what he has to tell us regarding full responsibility.

Bach said, “If it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it. If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim.”

Tell me, who truly likes to be a victim? And, I don’t think you are.

If that is the case, from today, hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. 

Choose to accept what you can’t change, improve what you can and blame no one.