BE A FRIEND

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer

Interaction with others is an essential part of life. Right from childhood to adolescence and to adulthood, we have to mingle and interrelate with people along the way. 

We live with people, talk to and do business with people. And with some of them, the relationship gets a little deeper for some reasons like affinity and connection. Thus, we designate them as friends; and assign for them a space in our heart.

Because of that we want improve our skill on friendly relations so we can leave a more positive and lasting influence on the lives of those in closeness to us.  

To start, I ask the question…

What’s the best way to have a friend?

The answer from all the sages of history is concisely written below as…

The best and easiest way to have a friend is simply to be one; to choose to serve and give generously of ourselves without the expectation of anything in return. 

That’s why the poet and author of the Prophet, Khalil Gibran said, “Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”

Now read the following poem by the English writer, Gillian Jones to learn—not what to expect—but who you need to be; to truly be a friend. It goes as….

“A person who will listen and not condemn

  Someone on whom you can depend

  They will not flee when bad times are here

  Instead they will be there to lend an ear

  They will think of ways to make you smile

  So you can be happy for a while

  When times are good and happy there after

  They will be there to share the laughter

  Do not forget your friends at all

  For they pick you up when you fall

  Do not expect to just take and hold

  Give friendship back, it is pure gold.”

I humbly hope you grasp the full message of the poem and find an area of improvement with a friend in your life.

DALE CARNEGIE’s SCHOOL OF CORDIALITY

The Dale Carnegie is the author of the perennial bestselling book, How to Win Friends and Influence People which contains fine insights on human relation and winning friends.

I have extracted six of his ideals for the purpose of this article.

But first think about the question Carnegie asked and his answer below to get the gist of the book, if you have not read it…

“Do you know the most important trait a man {person} can have? It is not executive ability; it is not a great mentality; it is not kindliness, nor courage, nor a sense of humour, though each of these is of tremendous importance. In my opinion, it is the ability to make friends, which, boiled down, and means the ability to see the best in man {another person}.”

To be your best in camaraderie, you will need to be a master in applying at least one of the following rules. This can only happen with habitual practice.

6 RULES OF HUMAN RELATIONS

1} The Only Way To Get The Best Of An Argument Is To Avoid It.

2} Talk In Terms Of The Other Person's Interests.

3} Make The Other Person Feel Important - And Do It Sincerely.

4} Be Hearty In Your Approbation And Lavish In Your Praise.

5} Call Attention To People's Mistakes Wisely.

6} Be Sympathetic With The Other Person's Ideas And Desires.

Seeing the best in another is the bedrock of goodwill; and it breeds compassion, tolerance and amity. 

So cultivate friendly attitude with the tips above and be the change you wish to see in the world. 

In short, live a friendly life; be a friend.