CHOICES: USING THE POWER OF DELIBERATE PERCEPTION TO CREATE NEW  REALITY.

“Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

— Abraham H. Maslow

“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”

— Gilbert K. Chesterton

Based on the words of the prolific English writer, Chesterton, in this article, I want to highlight the fact that we have the power to choose the good; even in the most extreme of circumstances when everything is working against us; when it seems we have no other choice than to let the external events dictate to us what we must be at a particular moment in time.

In his poignant counsel for our progress and overall growth, he has defined — at the deepest level — the true meaning of love, forgiveness, belief and hope.

On these values; by making the right choices again and again, we will inevitably develop sublime habits that can make our lives angelic and sublime.

Now, let’s examine them in detail one after another.

 LOVING THE UNLOVABLE

“I finally understood what true love meant… love meant that you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.”— Nicholas Sparks

According to an article by Sharman Stein, a staff writer for the Chigaco Tribune, she narrated some extreme cases of love and forgiveness which resonates perfectly with my idea that no matter the circumstances we face, the ultimate reality depends less on what has happened and more on how we take it; more on what we deliberately perceive; on what we choose.

Out of those unusual stories of romance and forgiveness, I choose the narrative of Tony and Fran Toto of Allentown, Pa, which {obviously, due to its degree of oddity} was made into a movie titled, “I Love You to Death.” 

Fran Toto, the beloved wife of Tony decided one day to kill her husband; and unmistakably, she did a lot to make it happen. This may be shocking to someone who didn’t know this before, but I urge you to brace up before you read on…

Putting her decision into action, Fran Toto got someone to shoot her husband in the head; after two previous attempts to murder Tony by her failed.

With the husband life hanging in the balance due to a bullet in the head; the wife didn’t want to take any chances so she promised two other cousins some money to finish off her spouse, and they also did their job; they shot him in the heart.

When Tony didn't die from the shooting tries, his beloved wife did not relent; it was time for her to do the deed herself; so she fed him chicken soup laced with poison to attain her vicious objective. 

However, by extreme stroke of luck, the husband just couldn’t be killed; Tony somehow refused to die.

Long story short, Tony was eventually saved by the police.

Unsurprisingly, the wife was sentenced to jail; and she served 4 years in prison to pay for her crime.

According to an interview with the Philadelphia Inquirer, read what Tony did on her first day from prison; he took her out for pizza and he said:

"We never mention the words divorce, separation. I don't understand it, why people break up over silly things. I think people need to sit down and talk." 

Undoubtedly, Tony has that angelic level of understanding and forgiveness that Chesterton referred to as loving the unlovable; in truth, this is one of the deepest meanings of love.

And according the American psychiatrist and bestselling author of the book, “The Road Less Traveled” M. Scott Peck, true and enduring love emanates not from emotion but from choice, that is, no matter what the other person might have done; we can deliberately perceive the good; we can always choose to love. Peck said:

“Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth... Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”

FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”—Marianne Williamson

This is a story of forgiveness by a woman who nearly lost everything; a traumatic experience that it is potentially devastating and life altering.

Beata Mukarubuga, nicknamed Mama Lambert, is a genocide survivor who lost five of her children, her husband, her parents and many more family members and relatives. And now she has forgiven the men who killed them all in Rwanda, 19 years ago during the Tutsi genocide. 

Indeed, she was traumatized as she recounted her experience to professor of legal philosophy Bert van Roermund about how she nearly committed suicide to relief herself of recurring pains. 

Read her words on the tormenting letter that was written to her by one of the killers:

“In 1998, one of the killers wrote a letter to me. He used to be an acquaintance of me. He wrote a letter from prison admitting that he had killed my children and others: ‘This day I killed these persons, the next one I killed these ones. The third day I killed the children of Beata.’ He enlisted all.” 

However, she was able to overcome the trauma and healed with the comfort and help of Solace Ministry; an organization that comforts widows and orphans and those who are HIV positive. A place she now volunteers to help others in need.

Though she also recounted that forgiving was initially difficult for her; and that it was a gradual process, yet she was finally able to forgive. And as you shall see by her actions, she proves to us that she did. 

To forgive, the unforgivable, this amazing woman went all the way to prison to talk to the killers about her forgiveness. She said:

“I visited him a few times in the national prison, together with others. We talked to him and to other perpetrators.”

For anyone reading this who may find going that far unimaginable, one thing should still be clear; rather than being a sign of weakness, what Beate did is a sign of inner strength and generous heart.

By visiting bloody killers in prison, more than once, to tell them she has forgiven them; she repealed evil with good. She went the extra-mile to forgive the incorrigibles. She chose to do the right thing.

Even if we cannot do exactly the same in our wildest imaginations, at least, we can derive initiative from her case to take the first step to repair any quarrel that may occur between us and our neighbours, relatives and friends — primarily for the sake of our mental health and emotional growth.

BELIEVING THE UNBELIEVABLE

“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.”—Francis Bacon

To prove the point on believing, I will narrate to you the story of Napoleon Hill and his son. Calmly read on with delight, this incredible story of mind power which began as stated below:

Hill had a new baby boy but he was born…without ears!

However, instead of accepting and believing what he could see based on medically confirmed facts, as a healthy explorer of his own universe, Napoleon Hill deliberately perceived the land when he could physically see nothing but sea.

Hill chose to believe, when it would have been easier not to.

Let me illustrate to you interesting conversations between Hill and the boy’s doctor:

“Before you go in,” the doctor began, “I must prepare you for a shock. It’s a boy and he was born without ears, and of course he will be deaf all his life.”
“He may have been born without ears,” Napoleon Hill exclaimed, “but he will not go through life deaf!” 

Hill was definitely aware of a higher form of knowledge and power, the like of which I picked from Robert Schuller’s bestselling book, “Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do.” My own version goes like this: to win in a life and death situation, only think life, only talk life, only believe life, keep praying life and only imagine life.

Pause for a minute and see the day and night difference between Hill and the doctor’s view. 

Obviously, the doctor had little incentive to project faith onto this worrying reality; one, because the baby was not his son; and two, maybe he had many of such negative experiences in the practice of medicine to make him bother not to. 

But Hill on the other hand, being the father of the boy, right on the spot, chose to deliberately perceive a beautiful reality out of a very negative condition with his amazing statement, “he will not go through life deaf.”

That’s a classic expression of faith-woven, deliberate self-perception. 

With that perception, he created a worthy purpose for himself and his son to do all it would take to have the child’s hearing restored; and because he was determined, it didn’t matter whether it would take ten years; twenty years; thirty years or even fifty years to realize his objective. 

Hill had developed a state of mind called faith, which as he said in his bestselling book, “Think and Grow Rich” to be the basis of all miracles and mysteries which cannot be analyzed by the rules of science; the only means of making the unbelievable become reality; the only antidote to failure.

Read on to learn how to develop this state of mind from Hill’s next statement to the doctor:

“I have discovered a powerful remedy sufficient for human needs in practically every circumstance. The first step one must take in applying this remedy is to refuse to accept as inevitable any circumstance one does not desire, and I am notifying you, here and now, that I shall never accept my son’s affliction as something which cannot be corrected.”

Hill’s authoritative pronouncement was not just an idle statement that required no effort at all. In actuality, it was an outburst of inner commitment to finding a way no matter what. 

For years, he worked at getting the result he wanted for his son, seeking all medical means available, all the while, firmly believing that the unbelievable will happen for his son, one day. And it did. 

Read below the words of another doctor after 25 years of waiting:

“Miraculous,” he exclaimed. “I have X-rayed this young man’s head from every possible angle and I see no evidence that he possesses any form of hearing equipment. Yet my tests show that he has sixty-five percent of his normal hearing capacity.”

Though, his son had been born without ears; but through the sheer power of faith, up to 65 percent of his hearing faculty was unbelievably restored. A medical condition — a permanent condition according to the doctor — was overturned simply because Hill chose to believe the unbelievable.

In other words, a miracle happened, as a result of deliberate perception of healing coupled with dedication to try everything humanly possible to realize the desired outcome. Napoleon Hill himself narrated the details of this incredible story in his book, “You Can Work Your Own Miracles.” 

Obviously, the key to ultimate realities of life for us lies not in the circumstances that confront us but in what we choose to see in them, just as Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

BEING HOPEFUL WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS HOPELESS

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller

The Winter War occurred between November, 1939 and March, 1940 when Russia invaded Finland, a story of aggression by a powerful country against a weak opponent in one of the coldest of winters on record; a four-month Soviet-Finnish war; a  gut-wrenching account  of desperate Finns facing almost insuperable odds. 

To comprehend the severity of the odds, consider these data: The Soviet’s armies were about a million and in command of more than 6,000 armored tanks; close to 4000 aircraft; and marching toward Finland ferociously with will to obliterate. 

On the other hand, with the Finns composed of only 300,000 soldiers, in control of less than 40 tanks and 114 aircraft, the odds were fearsome.

How many of them would be left standing? Or would there be any at all? These are possible questions for any concerned student of history.

If you consider this not as a tale but a real life situation and you were in Finland when this happened, you may have a faint idea of the sort of perception that could easily engulf the Finns without deliberate choice to be sturdy and hopeful against all odds; and it would be far from empowering.

Without courageous hope, this kind of artillery and man-power ratio was enough to compel a mentally weak opponent to surrender liberty — and still perished — with the reasoning that the odds were all stacked against them. 

In this surprising report of Finland fierce resistance to Soviet’s invasion, each of us can learn to see the light in the midst of stark darkness; we can learn to hold on until the day breaks; we can learn to hang in there and remain hopeful, even when everything seems hopeless to us at the moment.

The exhilarating core of the story is the resolution and resourcefulness of the Finns. For over 100 days, the ill-equipped Finnish soldiers ― in dire need of ammunition, troops and supplies ― fought the Red Army to a standstill.

Yes! You read that right; despite the odds, they fought the all-superior foe to a standstill. 

Don't you find that amazing? 

While the Helsinki lost more than 26,000 soldiers and about 40,000 casualties during the Soviet offensive, their losses pale in comparison to the Soviet’s, which had more than 126,000 fatalities and a number in excess of 264,000 casualties.

After the standstill, peace and reconciliation talks followed as two sovereign nations looking for constructive ways to end the blood sheds on both sides; and as a result, by March 15 1940, the Finns eventually agreed to make some concessions to sign The Moscow Peace Treaty.

Overall, Finland retained her national pride as a sovereign nation among all nations because her people had the courage to fight the good fight by retaining hope when the situation was utterly hopeless.

This is why Anne Frank, wrote in her dairy that:

“Where there is hope, there is life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again.”

Because the Finns had hope, when they were low, they were able to overturn a terrible situation and become better by it. 

I made some effort to pore the metrics of economic performance, standard of living and quality of life in Finland today; and the reality is far from lowly, the country now has enough reasons to stand tall and celebrate. 

A once weak nation is far ahead in wellbeing and good life than many countries in the world today. Still a small country in terms of her population compared to the rest of the world but by some quality metrics, Finland is now among the top countries in the globe.

Just to name a few, these are some of the bags of honour  that should make Finland proud of her history: 

Finland is the safest country in the world according to World Economic Forum, The Travel & Tourism Competitiveness Report 2017.

Finland is the most stable country in the world, according to The Fund for Peace, Fragile States Index 2017.  

Finland has the best governance in the world, according to Legatum Institute, The Legatum Prosperity Index 2016: Finland.

Finland is the second best country in the world in a comparison of human wellbeing according to Reporters Without Borders, 2017 World Press Freedom Index: Ranking.

Finland is the second most gender equal country in the world, according to World Economic Forum, Global Gender Gap Index 2016.

Finland has the most human capital in the world, according to
World Economic Forum, The Human Capital Report: Human Capital Index 2016.  

Thus, they have rightly demonstrated the truth of the American religious leader, Henry Emerson Fosdick’s insight, which says:

“He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.”

Since how we perceive the world, defines us; it defines our fears and our sense of safety; it defines the limits of our expectations in life; it defines our actions—whether we will step forward for growth or draw back into temporary safety.

As the saying goes, perception is greater than reality; which explains that whatever the outside realities may be, our perception can make them far better or far worse. 

Perception can indeed create its own reality.

This little effort is meant to instruct us to see and accept new possibilities; to use the power of deliberate perception to make empowering choices, no matter the magnitude of our negative conditions.

When we understand Abraham Maslow fully, then we will make good use of our power of choice to perceive what enables us, not what hinders us; and thus, we will choose growth over fear, we will choose love over hate, we will choose faith over doubt, we will choose action over passivity, we will choose forgiveness over animosity.

With the above real life examples, it should be clear that we all have the capacity to overcome any situation, if we unleash our inner power for unlimited growth and goodness.

Ryan Holiday in his encouraging book, “The Obstacle is The Way,” sums it up perfectly with his words of empowerment that we can thrive in spite of any and everything that may hinder our paths.

Choose to fortify your perception with them habitually and become almost invincible.

He says:

“As Marcus wrote, our actions can be impeded but there can be no impeding our intentions and dispositions because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacles to our acting; and then he concluded with the powerful words destined for maxim: the impediment to action advances action; what stands in the way becomes the way.”

JAMES CAMERON: THE EPITOME OF IMAGINATION, WILL AND ABOVE ALL, SELF-CONFIDENCE.

            “Only as high as I reach can I grow,

                Only as far as I seek can I go,

                  Only as deep as I look can I see,

                    Only as much as I dream can I be.”

                    — Karen Ravn

Imagination, will and confidence!

These are the key principles — formidable faculties of the mind — I find fitting to best qualify a creative superstar of Hollywood; James Cameron, whose unprecedented achievements will serve as inspirations to billions of people for many generations ahead.

James Cameron imagined a future of purpose, he nurtured his imagination with the will to practice and prepare in advance; and with the will to win, he demonstrated confidence to achieve records that remain exceptional till this day—and thus, we are compelled to consider him a genius.

Since awareness precedes choices, my objective is to illustrate with his example that — no matter where we are now — great things are still possible for us, when we truly understand the power of universal principles and implement them in our lives.

The essence of this article is to prove that principles are true and fair to all, if we are faithful in applying them unceasingly. Self-confidence is the dominant of all factors behind the success of James Cameron — a college drop-out. 

After reading this article, I hope you will decide to do what it takes to build your own confidence, day by day.

Read on with delight the enthralling account of an attractive personality of our time…

HOW THE UNKNOWN GENIUS BEGAN

James Cameron started like many of his peers in the seventies; he enrolled at Fullerton College to study Physics. 

However, in 1973, he dropped out, just like Steve Jobs, likely with the inner realization that academic degree had little bearing to his calling in life. But he chose to study personally the subjects of film technology that he found really interesting while he made his living as a truck driver among other odd jobs.

His confidence peaked in 1977 after seeing Star Wars; so he decided to enter the film industry by quitting his truck driving job. With wonderful imagination, he wrote the script of the Terminator; a film about a vicious cyborg sent from the far future into the then present for a nasty assignment.

Imagination is a powerful force and all achievements start with its creative use. As George Bernard Shaw states that “Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”

Cameron set out boldly to manifest the creation of his mind. He was so confident in himself that he was willing to sell only to studios that would allow him to direct the film. But all the studious at time refused to invest in the idea because he was considered largely inexperienced. 

He tried studios after studios without luck but eventually, with his glowing self-confidence, he was able to secure the cooperation of one producer who bought the screenplay for one dollar and allowed him to direct the movie. Now, the outcome of success or failure entirely depended on the young James, whom many rejected because his skills and prowess were yet to be proven.

He had only one shot, he had only one chance, he had only one opportunity, so he resolved to seize the opportunity and make the most of it, which he did. The rest, as we shall see is a history of game-changing and record-breaking success in succession. 

Terminator went on to surpass the expectations of the scoffers, critics and the naysayers altogether. It grossed over 1000 percent of its total cost and ultimately became a cult classic. Cameron achieved what the so called experienced directors and able film makers in the industry might not have achieved. 

With his skillful work on special effects, he found huge success in this science fiction action film. He surpassed all expectations simply because he had the confidence to think differently and to take a risk.

I would have stopped here to begin my analysis of what we can tap from his remarkable example; but that will be unfair to the full range of awe-inspiring records that implausibly followed. So please, patiently, read on.

Furthermore, with his use of cutting-edge technology for special visual effects,  James went ahead, 8 years later, in 1991 to  make another critical and box office hit; Terminator2— a sequel to the first film. 

The film made a record-breaking sum in excess of $500 million dollars world-wide, delighting the viewers and enriching the investors copiously. It won four Academy awards, including the Best Visual Effects. And it became the highest grossing film that year.

Afterwards, in 1997, James Cameron still proved himself to be the most bankable of all directors and producers in the industry, with his latest film till date: The Titanic. 

Derisively, before the film was released, it was widely ridiculed by critics for its expense of $200 million dollars as it was the most expensive movie ever made at that time.

Eventually, Titanic became the highest grossing film of all time, raking in more than $1.8 billion world-wide; and it was the first film to gross more than $1 billion in history. The film went on to win multiple awards which included the one that made Cameron, The Best Director, that year.

But Cameron was unremitting in his pursuit of  the acme of excellence and the highest level of success; his best was yet to come.

In 2009, Avatar, which took him almost 10 years to complete was released. 

Cameron explained the reason for the long-time span it took to finish the film; that the available technology was not good enough to produce his work; the movie had to wait for the realization of the advanced visual effects imagined by Cameron.

As if he had the Midas touch, Avatar grossed over $2.7 billion, breaking several box office records, and surpassing the previous Titanic to become the highest-grossing film of all time. 

Avatar also became the first movie in all history to gross over $2 billion world-wide. The Academy awards won included, the Best Art Direction and Best Visual Effects among others.

James Cameron's films have grossed a whopping total of over $7 billion worldwide.

To simply answer the surprises and wonder of anyone who is just reading these details for the first time, I will quote the words of Sigourney Weaver, one of the actresses who worked with him on stage. They are as follows:

"There are very few geniuses in the world, let alone in our business, and he's certainly one of them."

Now, it is hard to debate that conclusion, isn’t it?

But I am more curious of what makes him than I am of all his impressive records.

What is clear is that he made a judicious use of his mental powers of imagination and will, which in turn gave him the self-confidence to make big bets and won successively.

And it is in this sphere that I want to derive my insights on the practical lessons we can adopt to create a power habit that can attract greatness to us in life.

By the way, James Cameron — being first person in history to reach the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the deepest part of the ocean, in a solo descent — is unquestionably a man of supreme imagination, will and rare confidence and arguably, the most resourceful figure in film industry today.

THE CORE SECRET BEHIND IT ALL IS: THOROUGH PREPARATION

"One important key to success is self-confidence. 

An important key to self-confidence is preparation."- Arthur Ashe

"Confidence is preparation.   

Everything else is beyond your control." – Richard Kline

To create a fabulous future, James Cameron had to begin with imagination; he had to start with the end in his mind. But he didn’t end at merely seeing the future he wanted, he saw himself doing something immediately to create it. Just as Kiyosaki said, our future is not created by what we do tomorrow; our future is created by what we do today, by what we do now

He had the will not to win overnight but the will to thoroughly prepare ahead to win; and at the core, that’s what gave him the unflappable confidence to take such risks that made his peers trembled; that made his critics shuddered; that amazed his friends.

Many of his colleagues are living witnesses to this fact in his life. They witness that he has a very high expectation for his work and he is willing to make everyone risk their lives and limbs for every shot, including his own.

His extreme preparation for the work even started long before he entered the drama scene, right from his truck driving years. This is what he said:

"I'd go down to the USC library and pull any thesis that graduate students had written about optical printing, or front screen projection, or dye transfers, anything that related to film technology. That way I could sit down and read it, and if they'd let me photocopy it, I would. If not, I'd make notes."

Ahead of the production of Titanic, Cameron himself dived to the bottom of the Atlantic and shot actual footage of the ship underwater, which he put into the final film. No wonder, the visuals surrounding the sinking and destruction of the ship were considered fantastic; he did the work and he did it thoroughly. 

His former wife, Hamilton, even considered his character flaw to be a blind devotion to his work to the exclusion of almost everything else. And some of his colleagues considered him a nightmare to work with due to his uncompromisingly high standard. 

Whether they love him or loathe him, the inarguable truth is this: his unique work ethic and strict standards gave the world the phenomenal successes that will forever remain significant in the annals of world film history.

The keystone of his confidence and wizardry is plainly what Louis Nizer eloquently expressed and written below as:

“Preparation is the be-all of good work. Everything else is a satellite around the sun. Thorough preparation is that sun.”     

WHAT CAN WE ALL LEARN FROM THIS

First, we must learn to not belittle our own ideas and imaginations; everything begins in the mind. Inferiority complex will slay the most useful imagination right in its track before it can even take a strong hold. Imagination will remain a mere fantasy without the primary belief in our ability to execute and bring it to life.

However, the main lesson in this journey of imaginative and bold success is that the best way to eradicate fears and doubts — the main killers of creative thoughts — is that we must work hard to prepare ourselves thoroughly and in advance to make the most of our gifts and talents.

We must make taking massive action a habit, if we are to realize our dreams, our vision, and our imagination; and thereby make the world a better place for all.

Just like Roald Amsunden, the recognized first person in the world to reach both the North and South poles; with careful planning and thorough preparation, we too can have the confidence to face and overcome the most daunting tasks, with results that will not only amaze others but astonish our own selves.

And Robert H. Schuller also agrees that the key to duplicating the like of Cameron’s confidence and hence, his achievement is; thorough preparation:

“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.”

FINALLY,

So, for that big idea that we imagine and think about most of the time, why has it not come to fruition?

Why has it not amounted to anything than just a dream?

Why has it not led to a breakthrough for our world?

Answer them for yourself but from Cameron's example, maybe...

Maybe the deficiency is in the preparation.

Maybe it all boils down to sincerity of purpose to do everything in our power to making it a reality.

Maybe we need to prioritize above everything else, doing something now in preparation for the great moment in coming.

If we are serious, now is the time to become absolutely committed to use all our resources to prepare, by doing the work, day by day, month by month, year by year, without weariness and slack for our own moment in the history of the world.

Sure, we have to imagine the big picture, but we need to do more; we need to work hard every single day; we need to derive inexhaustible drive from the challenge. We need to know that self-confidence comes from having the will for thorough preparation before everything else.

We need to know it is about being ready long before the angel of opportunity visits. Self-confidence is all about preparation; early, intense, extreme and unremitting commitment to making ourselves always ready. 

I can’t think of a better way to drive home my point on the sole significance of self-confidence and the best way to nurture it than the brilliant words of the great Jim Rohn when he said that:

“The greatest step toward success is self-confidence. The greatest builder of self confidence is self-esteem, and self-esteem comes from doing the daily things you know you should do. Your self esteem will start to soar when you make some critical decisions — decisions to walk a new road, to start a new direction, to start a new discipline.”